he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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