Swine flu is the new snow day.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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