Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize