just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
