why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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