sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Randomize
