i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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