All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
