I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
