im gay
i know
yea but for you.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
