so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
