Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
