What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
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I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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