and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
