Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
