I got chris browned last night
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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