Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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