That's when you crack a 10am beer
They should really pass out barf bags in church
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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