Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
