were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
True college students do jello shots in the library
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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