Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
