Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
