he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
