Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
