New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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