i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I had to cum in my sink.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
