summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Randomize
