one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
