She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
