Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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