Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
