Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
