is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
