i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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