Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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