Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
