i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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