so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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