I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Randomize
