im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
