is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
