Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
