mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
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