if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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