I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize