If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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