peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
