Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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