matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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