and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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