I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
