Im at strip club and am horny
just tell him i said nine months
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
