All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
