Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
