maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I look better un-naked...
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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