either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
