I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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