AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
